this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
