this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
