fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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