Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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