I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
