I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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