Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
