honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
