i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
