hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
4 words: hood of his car
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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