Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
