That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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