Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
