I forgot how hot balto sounded
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
