Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
