you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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