she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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