they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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