what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So many bounce houses so little time
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
