You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
