i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
