I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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