i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize