he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
