they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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