She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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