eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
