david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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