I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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