thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
