Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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