Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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