it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
