my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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