what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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