If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
