I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just want nice things and good sex
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
