So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
