me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
