Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
