The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize