i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
