dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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