the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize