Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
