The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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