Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
