thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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