i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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