She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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