The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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