Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
