people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize