I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize