Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
