Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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