I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
