Porn is love you can see.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
