I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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