its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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